Thursday, Oct. 25, 2007

I highly recommend starting your day with a giggle. Carmen reminds us to do that. Driving to our house this morning, she said, "Look at those bird-o's on the wire!" Bird-o's. We giggled about that for a long time.

I bought a kid's stationery set at our unschooling friends' store Made in Japan . It has Japanese paper and envelopes and little tiny stamps. I asked Carmen if she wanted to open it and explore it a little. She did. I gave her a pen and she decided to write a letter to Bill, Esperanza and Lucas (her family). She wanted to write to her Mama and tell her that she's here, so that her Mama doesn't worry about her.

Dear Mama ~

I have come to Jake and Anne's house.

I Am Here.

And then she wanted to write a letter to Jake and Anne, because (her words and her idea, of course...) that way when she's not with us, she won't miss us as much.

And then she said to Jake, "Would you please write a letter to me?"

Jake's letter to Carmen:

Dear Carmen,

You are so sweet. I love you and am glad you're my friend.

Love,
Jake





We went apple picking last weekend, so I wanted to do something with our abundance of apples. I decided to make apple bread. Pretty soon, Carmen was over right by me, stirring and measuring and pouring.




Once the bread was in the oven, I decided on my de-cluttering project for the day. I wanted something on a smaller scale, so I went for the *junk* drawer next to the refrigerator. I pulled it out, dumped its entire contents in the floor, and sure enough, within seconds, Carmen was by my side, checking out the interesting stuff in the drawer.



"If you strew it, they will come..."



:)



She and Jake checked out the drawer for a while, organized the rubber bands for me, and then were off to bigger and better things. Books, as usual.



Carmen chose some books, and the sun was beckoning them on our back deck, so Jake and Carmen went out there and sat and read for awhile.





After a few books, Jake came in all sleepy looking to get MORE books, and I suggested he change activities if he was getting sleepy doing so much reading! He said, "But she wants to read more."

I told him it was also important to do things that keep *his* energy level up, because Carmen picks up on that.


So I grabbed a bucket and said, "Hey, Carmen! How about going on a treasure hunt in the woods with Jake?"



Oh, she was SO excited! She quickly got her shoes and socks and sweater on and took the bucket and they were off!...complete with a new level of excitement and energy.


After awhile, I looked out to see what they were doing, and they were back at the swingset.

Time flew by and it was time to head into town to meet Carmen's Papa and brother...Jake read books to her while in the car...and we stopped at the library in Oneonta, where Carmen and Jake read even MORE books together!!

I'm writing this on Saturday and Jake and I have been having fun quoting Carmen for the last few days, as we always do (we just love the *new* quotes we get after being with her!).

I don't know what day it is...

:)


Life has been very full and I've neglected to write about our time with Carmen.

Here's a Reader's Digest version of last Thursday and this Tuesday.


I don't know the dates, as I don't even know what today is. I think it might be October something. Twenty something. OH! Halloween is a week from today. 31 minus 7. That's today.

ANYway...


Last Thursday, driving to our home, we passed the wonderful little cafe that is new to Franklin. Carmen and Jake were just chatting in the car and when she spotted the cafe, she exclaimed, "OH! There's the Beehive!!"


We talked to her about when she went there...with her Mama and her brother and her friend, Lucia. I asked her what she ate and she said, "We didn't eat anything! We just fighted the whole time!"


Jake and I laughed so much!!


And then she told us that she DID go back another day and had breakfast there. I asked her what she ate THAT day and she said, "Sausages. And pancakes."


She proceeded to tell us how she knows how to make pancakes...she knows how to put the batter on the griddle, even.


So guess what we did at our house??

PANCAKE DAY!!

There was much excitement as we gathered the ingredients and talked about our LOVE of maple syrup. Carmen said her family also uses molasses on their pancakes.


However, my excitement faded rapidly when I opened the refrigerator and saw that the MILK WAS GONE! What kind of home has no milk?? I don't drink milk, so I don't know when the milk is low (unless I'm cooking/baking with it), and we have such a large refrigerator that I usually have a milk back-up (knowing that milk drinkers tend to neglect the job of reporting that milk is getting low). But there we were. Wanting to make pancakes. With no milk.


I was feeling bummed, but then looked at Carmen and thought, "What would Carmen do?" She wouldn't let this bother her! She would find another way to proceed!


And that's just what I did.


I looked a little DEEPER into the refrigerator, with a new hopeful perspective, and I pulled out my yogurt. I measured some out, watered it down a little...and those pancakes were BETTER than ever!!

Carmen days are my de-cluttering days. Sometimes she and Jake are off playing, and sometimes they hang out by me and look through all the stuff that's being de-cluttered. After all, what is clutter to one is *treasure* to another!

On Thursday, they were hanging out by me while I was de-cluttering my dresser area. I had a game out that my friend Anna sent to me...a game for women to connect with one another, called *Cowgirls (Ride the Trail of Truth)*. I knew the game had AMAZING little intricate pieces to it, so I asked Jake if he wanted to look at it with Carmen. She's been asking lately to *play games*, and they get out what games we have and Jake allows Carmen to make up all the rules (so nice of him, since that's how everyone else spent the first 10 years of *his* life, following *his* made-up rules to games!).

They got out *Cowgirls* and were rolling the dice, reading the cards (Carmen was reading them so sweetly), and moving their figures. On the way to drop off Carmen, Jake said, "OH! We didn't tell Annie about the song we made up!"

This was Carmen's *Cowgirl* song:

"Trot, trot to Boston...to get a loaf of bread.

Trot, trot home again. And her cat is dead."

:)

Carmen found a book to read after we were done eating pancakes and she asked Jake to read it to her. I asked, "Where do you want to read it?...over on the couch?"

She said, "No! Right here!"

She plopped down right where she was, cuddled up by Jake and they were reading, once again.

Because that's the kind of girl she is. No need to plan for comfort when JOY is foremost in her mind.

Yesterday I was de-cluttering my closet, and Jake and Carmen were outside for the LONGEST time. I suggested that he *stay* outside once we get here and they get out of the car, because once they're inside and he suggests they go outside, Carmen never wants to. And yet she LOVES playing with Jake outside, so that's exactly what he did. It wasn't raining yet, so they headed to the swingset and to the pond. I was busy busy cleaning out and filling bags for good-will and Jake would pop in for a snack, then pop in for some books. I kept peeking outside and my heart would just fill with such warmth and joy and love watching the two of them at play.

Since I was busy, I didn't get many photos, but here are a couple.

In my de-cluttering of the closet, I found a wonderful roll of BIG paper on Dave's side. I brought it out and asked if Carmen wanted to lay down on it and I would draw an outline around her body and we could make a life-size picture of Carmen! She said, "That would be FUN!"

And so we did. All of our washable kids markers are at the library for my library program, so we had to work with Sharpies, but we were careful (and afterward, Carmen was very careful about drawing on her hands and feet with the pink one!...she especially liked coloring in her toes...not the *picture* of toes...her REAL toes!).

She and Jake proceeded to play with that paper for the longest time. Carmen's favorite thing was when she drew a *bed* and would lay down on it. She asked me to take her picture and then posed several different ways, asking me to photograph her at each pose. She looks at the photos of herself and comments on how cute she is. So not only is she very accurate and wise, but also very truthful.

All is well.

Thursday, Oct. 11, 2007

We were downtown with Carmen today, as Sam had an orthodontist appointment. So it was different having Sam with us, and I'd say a bit more challenging for *me*, as HE is my baby and always will be my baby and he still needs his Mama's attention (as does Jake, but when we're with Carmen, Jake knows that that time is for us to give attention to Carmen...Sam?...not so much...!)...so I felt like I had *2* little kids today!


It's also more challenging being downtown because we have to keep Carmen's spirit within the *rules* of society...which she is happy to follow, but we can *feel* the difference between being with her under society's constraints vs. being with her FREE spirit in our home, where we have no rules, only *principles* that we live by.

We spent the first part of the morning popping pop beads and talking. Carmen told us all about Peru and their upcoming trip. She said she was going to learn all of the languages of Peru! We talked about speaking Spanish and I told her that I only speak it *un poco*. She asked, "Why?" (For the first time, but it would turn out to be the first of a zillion times that day...!). I told her that I didn't have a Mama who spoke Spanish, I just learned a little bit of it in school. She PROUDLY told me that HER Mama DOES speak Spanish!



Carmen and Jake and I put all of the same color pop beads together and then made ONE long necklace, which Carmen wanted to wear with me!!



And then she requested a photo of just *her* in the VERY long necklace!


Off to the library. OH! First...when we were getting Carmen's coat and umbrella around at Da'Vida to go to the library, I forgot what I said, but Carmen said, "I can't CONCEIVE of that!"

:)

Sam and I walked to the library in normal big-people time, and Jake and Carmen walked in 3 year old time, getting there about 10 minutes after we did! They played games every step of the way, as Jake respectfully follows Carmen's pace and thoughts and ideas.


We couldn't read in the normal room with the pillows because there was a storytime going on there for babies. After listening to that storytime, I was so thankful for my unique storytime that is open to ALL ages and is like a wonderful little community...and thankful that my kids never tolerated the typical library program, which always just felt humiliating to them, and not world-expanding in any way.


Off to the Latte' Lounge, where Carmen and Jake arrived 10 minutes later than Sam and I again! Carmen was very excited to tell me ALL that happened on the way there...how Jake carried BOTH of the umbrellas and how he picked her up to push the button so they could walk across the street, and how she HOPPED over a puddle!


Jake told me that Carmen had informed him that the lamp-post that the stop light is on was fixed. NOTHING gets past this child!!

It's fun at the Latte' Lounge, as Carmen's like a celebrity there...and even when people don't know her, they smile at us because there we are, having a real conversation with a 3 year old...and that's so foreign to so many people (not to my family, though!...and certainly not to Carmen's!).

Since Sam was with us, we decided to go to the Butterfly Conservatory that recently opened in Oneonta. We had never been, and when we asked Carmen if she wanted to go, she was very excited about it, as she had been there before.


She loved the fish.



She had enough after a few minutes and so Jake and I took turns playing with her outside while the other ones got to explore the conservatory more. Sam really loved the place, as did Jake, and I wanted to make sure they got all the time there that they had wanted.


There's a room in between the gift shop and the actual conservatory with mirrors so that you can check and see if you have any butterflies on you before you leave! Carmen spotted her numerous reflections and kept saying, "Look at all the Carmens!!"




After Sam and Jake were ready to leave, and Carmen and I were finished searching for *Miss Mary Mack* outside (and after we dropped Carmen off, we actually SAW her!!...there was a woman and a man walking down the street ALL DRESSED IN BLACK BLACK BLACK!!), we went back to Da'Vida to meet Carmen's Papa and her brother, Lucas. We got there earlier than we had thought, and Jake had ONE book with him...so we read it...you guessed it...FOUR times. Carmen loved the book, and Jake and I took turns reading it (at Carmen's request). I suggested that Jake get the markers and paper and color with Carmen...and he and Carmen went to the back of the store to do that, and Sam and I actually dozed off for a minute or two on that cozy Da'Vida couch.

Adios, Carmen! Hasta Mañana!!

Thursday, Oct. 4, 2007

Within the first 15 seconds at our house today, Carmen rejected everything Jake had spent an hour planning to do with her! Jake was laughing about it...and I said, "Follow the CHILD, sweetie!!...follow the child..."



So he did. He let *her* show *him* what to do...while I strewed some other interesting things around to see if she would be drawn to them.


So they went from popping the bubble with the dice in it on the Trouble game...to drawing on a fungus Jake and I found in the woods this morning...to playing with our old GeoSafari...to setting up a store with stuff from the kitchen cupboards and our play cash register...to following me into my bedroom while I de-cluttered my rocking chair...

Jake walked past me one time and said, "This is fun! We're just hanging out and talking to each other!"

Funny how a child who has led a completely free life with his parents following *his* heart and his interests and his flow had to see it from *this* angle, from the perspective of a caregiver...to really understand it! He said it's much *easier* to go with the flow of the child than to have your own agenda...

Mm-hmm...just summed up much of unschooling right there! And also learned about how relationships (parent/child...caregiver/child...) are made stronger that way, instead of adversarial.

:)

I asked Carmen if she wanted to look through my jewelry box and she was THRILLED. She and Jake sat/laid there on the floor with my jewelry box in front of them, trying on jewelry...talking...talking...playing pretend...and Carmen would occassionally run out to me (elsewhere in the house), and show me how beautiful she looked with my jewelry!




So nice to have a little girl Presence in our home.



I had my craft wire and river glass in my bedroom, so I put that in front of them and Carmen was interested enough in it to pick it up and play around with it. Carmen loved working with the wire. She kept telling Jake, "I'm PREPARING the wire now..."

She said the wire was "decent!"




She put a large piece of riverglass on the end of one piece of wire and took it for a walk, saying it was her puppy!


She had *fairy wands* that Jake, Sam and I had gotten YEARS ago when we visited Santa's Workshop at The North Pole (the same ones I got when I was a little girl, and my Dad took me to Santa's Workshop!) near Lake Placid, NY (in the Adirondacks). So she decided to turn her puppy into a kittie. She waved the wand and said,


"Abracadabra...
Alakazam...
Kitty You Are...
Kitty I Am..."


:)


Wow.


Even Sam couldn't resist looking at Jake and I with "Awww...SO SWEET!" eyes (that's what Jake and I spend all of our time with Carmen doing to each other!)!

I had written down numerous *Carmen-isms*...cute, enlightening, deep, and absolutely brilliant things that come out of her mouth and her mind. But I can't find it now!

When we were eating lunch, she said something sweet, and Jake said, "Mom...write that down!"

So I picked up the pen and found the paper and Carmen said, "Write that up!"

She sure keeps us laughing.

And this photo:

...was taken just before she put her hand on Jake's arm and said, "I love you."

Jake melted.

All is well.

Tuesday, Oct. 2, 2007 ~ HOLY MOLY!!

Carmen came out with that yesterday and Jake and I just LAUGHED!! "Holy Moly!"

We had a fun day downtown yesterday. Jake and I both felt completely exhausted afterward, for some reason...we both thoroughly enjoy EVERY moment with Carmen, and we were just extra tired yesterday from our vacation and from the 30 kids that are at my library program on Mondays!




Jake got out the Pop Beads right away and Carmen just loves them. What I love most about playing side by side with children is the conversations that stem from their free minds. It's not just *play*...it's deep, enlightening conversations...often times incredibly silly, too.

Carmen made this dog (above) with a VERY long tail.











These are photos from the coffee shop (we did our usual route of the library and then to the coffee shop). Carmen LOVED looking at herself in my camera and kept wanting me to take photos of her *normal face* and then her *cream cheese mustache face*.

Carmen took this photo of Jake and the one (below) of herself.

After walking around downtown more...the Famer's Market, the music store, Razzle Dazzle, the art store...we went back to Da'Vida and got out "sticks and glue"! Carmen was SO excited to build with sticks and glue...and she kept saying, "I'm going to make something REALLY REALLY COOL!!!" or "REALLY REALLY WEIRD!"

When we were cleaning up, we kept inventing other games with the sticks that were belly-laughing fun...and we ended our time together with me drawing *Bubby* (her bunny) on several of the popsicle sticks!

Jake and I, at dinner, told Sam and Dave that out of all of the people we know on this planet, Carmen is one of the top people that we would CHOOSE to spend time with.

All is well.