Thursday, Oct. 25, 2007

I highly recommend starting your day with a giggle. Carmen reminds us to do that. Driving to our house this morning, she said, "Look at those bird-o's on the wire!" Bird-o's. We giggled about that for a long time.

I bought a kid's stationery set at our unschooling friends' store Made in Japan . It has Japanese paper and envelopes and little tiny stamps. I asked Carmen if she wanted to open it and explore it a little. She did. I gave her a pen and she decided to write a letter to Bill, Esperanza and Lucas (her family). She wanted to write to her Mama and tell her that she's here, so that her Mama doesn't worry about her.

Dear Mama ~

I have come to Jake and Anne's house.

I Am Here.

And then she wanted to write a letter to Jake and Anne, because (her words and her idea, of course...) that way when she's not with us, she won't miss us as much.

And then she said to Jake, "Would you please write a letter to me?"

Jake's letter to Carmen:

Dear Carmen,

You are so sweet. I love you and am glad you're my friend.

Love,
Jake





We went apple picking last weekend, so I wanted to do something with our abundance of apples. I decided to make apple bread. Pretty soon, Carmen was over right by me, stirring and measuring and pouring.




Once the bread was in the oven, I decided on my de-cluttering project for the day. I wanted something on a smaller scale, so I went for the *junk* drawer next to the refrigerator. I pulled it out, dumped its entire contents in the floor, and sure enough, within seconds, Carmen was by my side, checking out the interesting stuff in the drawer.



"If you strew it, they will come..."



:)



She and Jake checked out the drawer for a while, organized the rubber bands for me, and then were off to bigger and better things. Books, as usual.



Carmen chose some books, and the sun was beckoning them on our back deck, so Jake and Carmen went out there and sat and read for awhile.





After a few books, Jake came in all sleepy looking to get MORE books, and I suggested he change activities if he was getting sleepy doing so much reading! He said, "But she wants to read more."

I told him it was also important to do things that keep *his* energy level up, because Carmen picks up on that.


So I grabbed a bucket and said, "Hey, Carmen! How about going on a treasure hunt in the woods with Jake?"



Oh, she was SO excited! She quickly got her shoes and socks and sweater on and took the bucket and they were off!...complete with a new level of excitement and energy.


After awhile, I looked out to see what they were doing, and they were back at the swingset.

Time flew by and it was time to head into town to meet Carmen's Papa and brother...Jake read books to her while in the car...and we stopped at the library in Oneonta, where Carmen and Jake read even MORE books together!!

I'm writing this on Saturday and Jake and I have been having fun quoting Carmen for the last few days, as we always do (we just love the *new* quotes we get after being with her!).

I don't know what day it is...

:)


Life has been very full and I've neglected to write about our time with Carmen.

Here's a Reader's Digest version of last Thursday and this Tuesday.


I don't know the dates, as I don't even know what today is. I think it might be October something. Twenty something. OH! Halloween is a week from today. 31 minus 7. That's today.

ANYway...


Last Thursday, driving to our home, we passed the wonderful little cafe that is new to Franklin. Carmen and Jake were just chatting in the car and when she spotted the cafe, she exclaimed, "OH! There's the Beehive!!"


We talked to her about when she went there...with her Mama and her brother and her friend, Lucia. I asked her what she ate and she said, "We didn't eat anything! We just fighted the whole time!"


Jake and I laughed so much!!


And then she told us that she DID go back another day and had breakfast there. I asked her what she ate THAT day and she said, "Sausages. And pancakes."


She proceeded to tell us how she knows how to make pancakes...she knows how to put the batter on the griddle, even.


So guess what we did at our house??

PANCAKE DAY!!

There was much excitement as we gathered the ingredients and talked about our LOVE of maple syrup. Carmen said her family also uses molasses on their pancakes.


However, my excitement faded rapidly when I opened the refrigerator and saw that the MILK WAS GONE! What kind of home has no milk?? I don't drink milk, so I don't know when the milk is low (unless I'm cooking/baking with it), and we have such a large refrigerator that I usually have a milk back-up (knowing that milk drinkers tend to neglect the job of reporting that milk is getting low). But there we were. Wanting to make pancakes. With no milk.


I was feeling bummed, but then looked at Carmen and thought, "What would Carmen do?" She wouldn't let this bother her! She would find another way to proceed!


And that's just what I did.


I looked a little DEEPER into the refrigerator, with a new hopeful perspective, and I pulled out my yogurt. I measured some out, watered it down a little...and those pancakes were BETTER than ever!!

Carmen days are my de-cluttering days. Sometimes she and Jake are off playing, and sometimes they hang out by me and look through all the stuff that's being de-cluttered. After all, what is clutter to one is *treasure* to another!

On Thursday, they were hanging out by me while I was de-cluttering my dresser area. I had a game out that my friend Anna sent to me...a game for women to connect with one another, called *Cowgirls (Ride the Trail of Truth)*. I knew the game had AMAZING little intricate pieces to it, so I asked Jake if he wanted to look at it with Carmen. She's been asking lately to *play games*, and they get out what games we have and Jake allows Carmen to make up all the rules (so nice of him, since that's how everyone else spent the first 10 years of *his* life, following *his* made-up rules to games!).

They got out *Cowgirls* and were rolling the dice, reading the cards (Carmen was reading them so sweetly), and moving their figures. On the way to drop off Carmen, Jake said, "OH! We didn't tell Annie about the song we made up!"

This was Carmen's *Cowgirl* song:

"Trot, trot to Boston...to get a loaf of bread.

Trot, trot home again. And her cat is dead."

:)

Carmen found a book to read after we were done eating pancakes and she asked Jake to read it to her. I asked, "Where do you want to read it?...over on the couch?"

She said, "No! Right here!"

She plopped down right where she was, cuddled up by Jake and they were reading, once again.

Because that's the kind of girl she is. No need to plan for comfort when JOY is foremost in her mind.

Yesterday I was de-cluttering my closet, and Jake and Carmen were outside for the LONGEST time. I suggested that he *stay* outside once we get here and they get out of the car, because once they're inside and he suggests they go outside, Carmen never wants to. And yet she LOVES playing with Jake outside, so that's exactly what he did. It wasn't raining yet, so they headed to the swingset and to the pond. I was busy busy cleaning out and filling bags for good-will and Jake would pop in for a snack, then pop in for some books. I kept peeking outside and my heart would just fill with such warmth and joy and love watching the two of them at play.

Since I was busy, I didn't get many photos, but here are a couple.

In my de-cluttering of the closet, I found a wonderful roll of BIG paper on Dave's side. I brought it out and asked if Carmen wanted to lay down on it and I would draw an outline around her body and we could make a life-size picture of Carmen! She said, "That would be FUN!"

And so we did. All of our washable kids markers are at the library for my library program, so we had to work with Sharpies, but we were careful (and afterward, Carmen was very careful about drawing on her hands and feet with the pink one!...she especially liked coloring in her toes...not the *picture* of toes...her REAL toes!).

She and Jake proceeded to play with that paper for the longest time. Carmen's favorite thing was when she drew a *bed* and would lay down on it. She asked me to take her picture and then posed several different ways, asking me to photograph her at each pose. She looks at the photos of herself and comments on how cute she is. So not only is she very accurate and wise, but also very truthful.

All is well.

Thursday, Oct. 11, 2007

We were downtown with Carmen today, as Sam had an orthodontist appointment. So it was different having Sam with us, and I'd say a bit more challenging for *me*, as HE is my baby and always will be my baby and he still needs his Mama's attention (as does Jake, but when we're with Carmen, Jake knows that that time is for us to give attention to Carmen...Sam?...not so much...!)...so I felt like I had *2* little kids today!


It's also more challenging being downtown because we have to keep Carmen's spirit within the *rules* of society...which she is happy to follow, but we can *feel* the difference between being with her under society's constraints vs. being with her FREE spirit in our home, where we have no rules, only *principles* that we live by.

We spent the first part of the morning popping pop beads and talking. Carmen told us all about Peru and their upcoming trip. She said she was going to learn all of the languages of Peru! We talked about speaking Spanish and I told her that I only speak it *un poco*. She asked, "Why?" (For the first time, but it would turn out to be the first of a zillion times that day...!). I told her that I didn't have a Mama who spoke Spanish, I just learned a little bit of it in school. She PROUDLY told me that HER Mama DOES speak Spanish!



Carmen and Jake and I put all of the same color pop beads together and then made ONE long necklace, which Carmen wanted to wear with me!!



And then she requested a photo of just *her* in the VERY long necklace!


Off to the library. OH! First...when we were getting Carmen's coat and umbrella around at Da'Vida to go to the library, I forgot what I said, but Carmen said, "I can't CONCEIVE of that!"

:)

Sam and I walked to the library in normal big-people time, and Jake and Carmen walked in 3 year old time, getting there about 10 minutes after we did! They played games every step of the way, as Jake respectfully follows Carmen's pace and thoughts and ideas.


We couldn't read in the normal room with the pillows because there was a storytime going on there for babies. After listening to that storytime, I was so thankful for my unique storytime that is open to ALL ages and is like a wonderful little community...and thankful that my kids never tolerated the typical library program, which always just felt humiliating to them, and not world-expanding in any way.


Off to the Latte' Lounge, where Carmen and Jake arrived 10 minutes later than Sam and I again! Carmen was very excited to tell me ALL that happened on the way there...how Jake carried BOTH of the umbrellas and how he picked her up to push the button so they could walk across the street, and how she HOPPED over a puddle!


Jake told me that Carmen had informed him that the lamp-post that the stop light is on was fixed. NOTHING gets past this child!!

It's fun at the Latte' Lounge, as Carmen's like a celebrity there...and even when people don't know her, they smile at us because there we are, having a real conversation with a 3 year old...and that's so foreign to so many people (not to my family, though!...and certainly not to Carmen's!).

Since Sam was with us, we decided to go to the Butterfly Conservatory that recently opened in Oneonta. We had never been, and when we asked Carmen if she wanted to go, she was very excited about it, as she had been there before.


She loved the fish.



She had enough after a few minutes and so Jake and I took turns playing with her outside while the other ones got to explore the conservatory more. Sam really loved the place, as did Jake, and I wanted to make sure they got all the time there that they had wanted.


There's a room in between the gift shop and the actual conservatory with mirrors so that you can check and see if you have any butterflies on you before you leave! Carmen spotted her numerous reflections and kept saying, "Look at all the Carmens!!"




After Sam and Jake were ready to leave, and Carmen and I were finished searching for *Miss Mary Mack* outside (and after we dropped Carmen off, we actually SAW her!!...there was a woman and a man walking down the street ALL DRESSED IN BLACK BLACK BLACK!!), we went back to Da'Vida to meet Carmen's Papa and her brother, Lucas. We got there earlier than we had thought, and Jake had ONE book with him...so we read it...you guessed it...FOUR times. Carmen loved the book, and Jake and I took turns reading it (at Carmen's request). I suggested that Jake get the markers and paper and color with Carmen...and he and Carmen went to the back of the store to do that, and Sam and I actually dozed off for a minute or two on that cozy Da'Vida couch.

Adios, Carmen! Hasta Mañana!!

Thursday, Oct. 4, 2007

Within the first 15 seconds at our house today, Carmen rejected everything Jake had spent an hour planning to do with her! Jake was laughing about it...and I said, "Follow the CHILD, sweetie!!...follow the child..."



So he did. He let *her* show *him* what to do...while I strewed some other interesting things around to see if she would be drawn to them.


So they went from popping the bubble with the dice in it on the Trouble game...to drawing on a fungus Jake and I found in the woods this morning...to playing with our old GeoSafari...to setting up a store with stuff from the kitchen cupboards and our play cash register...to following me into my bedroom while I de-cluttered my rocking chair...

Jake walked past me one time and said, "This is fun! We're just hanging out and talking to each other!"

Funny how a child who has led a completely free life with his parents following *his* heart and his interests and his flow had to see it from *this* angle, from the perspective of a caregiver...to really understand it! He said it's much *easier* to go with the flow of the child than to have your own agenda...

Mm-hmm...just summed up much of unschooling right there! And also learned about how relationships (parent/child...caregiver/child...) are made stronger that way, instead of adversarial.

:)

I asked Carmen if she wanted to look through my jewelry box and she was THRILLED. She and Jake sat/laid there on the floor with my jewelry box in front of them, trying on jewelry...talking...talking...playing pretend...and Carmen would occassionally run out to me (elsewhere in the house), and show me how beautiful she looked with my jewelry!




So nice to have a little girl Presence in our home.



I had my craft wire and river glass in my bedroom, so I put that in front of them and Carmen was interested enough in it to pick it up and play around with it. Carmen loved working with the wire. She kept telling Jake, "I'm PREPARING the wire now..."

She said the wire was "decent!"




She put a large piece of riverglass on the end of one piece of wire and took it for a walk, saying it was her puppy!


She had *fairy wands* that Jake, Sam and I had gotten YEARS ago when we visited Santa's Workshop at The North Pole (the same ones I got when I was a little girl, and my Dad took me to Santa's Workshop!) near Lake Placid, NY (in the Adirondacks). So she decided to turn her puppy into a kittie. She waved the wand and said,


"Abracadabra...
Alakazam...
Kitty You Are...
Kitty I Am..."


:)


Wow.


Even Sam couldn't resist looking at Jake and I with "Awww...SO SWEET!" eyes (that's what Jake and I spend all of our time with Carmen doing to each other!)!

I had written down numerous *Carmen-isms*...cute, enlightening, deep, and absolutely brilliant things that come out of her mouth and her mind. But I can't find it now!

When we were eating lunch, she said something sweet, and Jake said, "Mom...write that down!"

So I picked up the pen and found the paper and Carmen said, "Write that up!"

She sure keeps us laughing.

And this photo:

...was taken just before she put her hand on Jake's arm and said, "I love you."

Jake melted.

All is well.

Tuesday, Oct. 2, 2007 ~ HOLY MOLY!!

Carmen came out with that yesterday and Jake and I just LAUGHED!! "Holy Moly!"

We had a fun day downtown yesterday. Jake and I both felt completely exhausted afterward, for some reason...we both thoroughly enjoy EVERY moment with Carmen, and we were just extra tired yesterday from our vacation and from the 30 kids that are at my library program on Mondays!




Jake got out the Pop Beads right away and Carmen just loves them. What I love most about playing side by side with children is the conversations that stem from their free minds. It's not just *play*...it's deep, enlightening conversations...often times incredibly silly, too.

Carmen made this dog (above) with a VERY long tail.











These are photos from the coffee shop (we did our usual route of the library and then to the coffee shop). Carmen LOVED looking at herself in my camera and kept wanting me to take photos of her *normal face* and then her *cream cheese mustache face*.

Carmen took this photo of Jake and the one (below) of herself.

After walking around downtown more...the Famer's Market, the music store, Razzle Dazzle, the art store...we went back to Da'Vida and got out "sticks and glue"! Carmen was SO excited to build with sticks and glue...and she kept saying, "I'm going to make something REALLY REALLY COOL!!!" or "REALLY REALLY WEIRD!"

When we were cleaning up, we kept inventing other games with the sticks that were belly-laughing fun...and we ended our time together with me drawing *Bubby* (her bunny) on several of the popsicle sticks!

Jake and I, at dinner, told Sam and Dave that out of all of the people we know on this planet, Carmen is one of the top people that we would CHOOSE to spend time with.

All is well.

Carmen Silver Shoes

I'm behind...I still have a post in drafts from last Thursday...



But I wanted to share this photo of Carmen in my shoes:

I'll write more next week when we're back from the Adirondacks for Jake's 17th birthday!!

All is well...

Thursday, Sept. 20, 2007

"Your road is not CLOSED anymore! YAY!!"


How this child knew that we were today driving up our *regular* road, instead of taking the *detour* that we took last week because the road is closed, I have no idea. Her brain is beyond brilliant.

Anne: "Como se dice *pumpkin* en Espanol?"

Carmen: "Calabaza!"

I was very happy she told me that because she hasn't been speaking Spanish much around us. On the drive here, I asked her something and she said, "I want to say it in English."


Her Mom has told me of Carmen's *separate* worlds ~ her Spanish and her English worlds ~ and we're trying to make sure that she knows we are available for both. But I think it's a very sacred world to Carmen because it's between she and her madre. And I completely honor and respect that and neither Jake nor I *force* anything from that, of course (as we are always a child-led family). That's why it's extra special when some of her Spanish slips out around us...we know she feels Safe.



I was making pumpkin muffins in the kitchen while Jake and Carmen were playing close by with Beanie Babies (Oh, PRAISE THE UNIVERSE!! ... There is a NEW USE for our HUNDREDS OF BEANIE BABIES!!). I quietly said to myself as I looked at the recipe, "Hmm...I don't have cranberries. OH! I can put in sunflower seeds and walnuts!" Well, I actually found dried cranberries, so I added those, too.


Later, when Carmen was eating a muffin, she came to me happy and laughing and said, "You found cranberries!!" And she had one on her tongue and she stuck it out for me to see!!


I just hugged her. She's amazing and so aware. She and Jake are a good pair.


She found the movie *My Neighbor Totoro*...she said, "I LOVE movies!" (I later learned from her Mom that she doesn't actually watch movies!) And she asked to watch Totoro. She loved it.

Jake discovered this anime (Japanese animation) when he was younger than Carmen and has loved anime ~ Miyazaki's in particular ~ ever since. It's a wonderful family-friendly movie.

As Carmen and Jake sat away from the tractor (to decide if it was going to be too loud for Carmen to ride, because she informed us that she doesn't like loud noises), she told Jake, "This will be my FIRST ride on a TRACTOR!!"

She decided it wasn't too loud and I took her for a little ride. She told me when she had enough and she and Jake were off to the swingset and the pond...

All is Well.

Early Morning Thoughts...

Carmen will ~ out of the blue and completely unrelated to anything we are currently saying or doing ~ tell us, "My Papa is a storyteller."

Jake and I always smile at each other, and then ask her questions about her Papa's storytelling, and how much it means to her. It's obviously something she holds very dear in her heart.

And when we were playing at Da'Vida, she asked about *That Other Guy*, a.k.a. Sam. And then she told Jake and I, "That other guy is fun to play with."

If you were Sam's friend on MySpace, you would see that he changed his name to read:

sam (that other guy)

:)

9/18/07 ~ Sillypants Day

Carmen was super silly today. She kept calling *me* SillyPants, along with other names like Tin Tan and Kin Kan! I eventually told her that I love my name, and I love it when people call me by my name. So then she was thinking about whether to call me *Annie* or *Anne Ohman*...and she decided to call me Anne.

:)







Jake started off by playing with these potato heads that we had. She quickly put them together, said that they were all girls and they were all named Mary. We played pretend with them for a long time, sending them on yarn rocketships to the moon and then to Spain (both destinations Carmen's ideas). She then had them all hold hands in a circle, as they danced.





We had more balloon fun. I LOVE making these spiral balloons, and after watching me make one by wrapping it around my fingers, Carmen wanted to make one around her arm. It worked! We then wrapped the tighter spirals around the looser spirals and they were Carmen's snakes that were "nice snakes" and she drew faces on them with a black marker, which eventually got onto all of our hands and our clothing!






Carmen was excited to go to the library today. On our way there, I told Jake that I had to call Dave (we walk right by his office), and he could go ahead and I'd meet them there. Jake said as he and Carmen walked to the library, Carmen said that I was calling *Funny Boy*. A little background...last week, Dave stopped into Da'Vida when we were there. He was being a little sassy to Carmen and she looked at him, trying to figure him out. Then her face broke into a smile and she declared to Dave, "You a Funny Boy!" Well, apparently the name stuck in her mind.

Jake and Carmen read LOADS of books while I browsed for more for my program. There was a little girl in the library with her Mom, and she and Carmen both had dog puppets, so I kind of started a connecting conversation and they played together for a long time. They built dog homes with the pillows. I was watching carefully, because I didn't want anything to happen that would upset Carmen, but she handled herself very well! Even when the little girl said that her dog wanted to bite Carmen's dog, Carmen just picked it up and said, "I'm holding it over my head so your dog can't bite it!"

After numerous books and much play, we moved on to get a bagel at Latte Lounge, went to the downtown toy store, where Carmen played with the trains and the baby carriages, and then to the art store. I had a small bag from the toy store and Carmen offered to carry it for me, as we walked and discussed what was in it. I love how deep her mind is.

As I invested in some very expensive artist colored pencils for Jake's birthday present, he and Carmen sat on the floor of the art store and read a book. Now *that* is a picture I wish I had gotten!

Back to Da'Vida to play with the new things I had gotten at the toy store...and we played with *Pop Bead Critters* for the rest of our time together, not only making critters, but EIGHT bracelets for Carmen!









So while it was a *sillypants* day for Carmen, she is still her brilliantly sweet self all of the time, and I wish Jake and I could remember all of the things that Carmen said that had us looking at each other, sending a message of *knowing* to each other...knowing that we are blessed to be in this child's life.

9/13/07 ~ First day at *our* home!

"What can I do with her in the backseat of the car?"

I loved that question that Jake asked this morning. It showed that his mind is working and focused on his *job* and making sweet Carmen happy and comfortable.

I must say, I'm having a difficult time referring to this as his *job* because it's such a joyful job, such a blessing in all of our lives...but isn't that what the ideal job SHOULD be?? How wrong is it that society has it ingrained in my head that the word *job* should be equated with something NOT joyful and fulfilling?? OK...so this is my issue and I'll work on it.

:)

So the day began picking up Carmen and Jake reading her books in the backseat of the car. I was smiling the entire time, listening to their precious conversations and their laughter.

At home, I made a special Carmen plate of food for her to eat whenever she feels the urge. She and Jake spent the last hour playing with toys downstairs. She told Jake she needed to go potty (she lets him help her) and now they are upstairs, looking for scissors to cut things out of magazines. They're looking for scissors AND calling for them at the same time. :)

Carmen loves saying that things are her *Favorite*. Guinea pigs are her *favorite* animal. Jake set up the chess board and they started stacking the wooden checkers and the checkers were Carmen's *favorite* thing! The pretzels that I put on her plate (Snyder's Organic Oat Bran) are her *favorite* snack!

She's so sweet and bursting with love and beauty. She keeps wanting to protect Nugget (the guinea pig) from Choco (our Welsh Corgi). And she keeps saying how BEAUTIFUL Nugget is! And now she is sharing her melon balls with Nugget.

"I like her," says Carmen.


:)

On to running and hopping while Jake collects stuff to paint coffee filters.

Jake was always a *rule-follower* and even one who would report anyone who broke any of the rules. So when he informed Carmen to wash her brush before she dipped it in another color, she showed him the possibility of NOT washing his brush! And Jake said, "Hm. That's actually quite pretty!"

We love Carmen because she tells us how it is. That's what we love in free kids. They let you know how to create an environment in which they can Shine. They know they are respected and it's an honor that they trust the adults around them to make sure their needs/desires are met.

She told Jake she was thirsty and was very specific about what to drink. Water from the faucet, not a water bottle. Orange juice with a little water in it (from the faucet).

I love free kids.

Carmen is now painting several coffee filters so that I can, and I quote, "decorate your whole house with them!"

Jake is used to very *directed* play and instructions, as this is how he was in his earlier years. That's why Carmen is in an environment where she is deeply respected and celebrated!

We walked to the garden to harvest a zucchinni for dinner and only found one as big as a baseball bat! So Carmen picked some tomatoes and beans.

Jake and Carmen went to the swingset and to the pond while I made sweet potato fries. Carmen said they had fun and they played *Kitty*. I asked how one plays *Kitty* and she said, "We chased ourselves and ran around."

Jake lured her to the couch with the promise of reading library books. The couch was covered with their cutting and gluing project, so Jake started clearing it off. Carmen, who asks *why* a lot, asked why he was cleaning it off. Jake said, "Because I like to read on a clean couch." Carmen proclaimed, "Well I like to read on a DIRTY couch!"

The sweet potato fries were *not* a hit with Carmen, and I asked her if she would like something else to eat or drink and she said, "Yes. Plain water."

Now Sam is cleaning Nugget's cage and I asked Carmen if she would take care of Nugget while Sam cleaned her cage and Carmen is VERY excited about that, complete with hopping and applause!!

By the way, Carmen keeps referring to Sam as *that other guy*!! And she is SO drawn to Jake...when I asked if she would take care of Nugget, she automatically turned to Jake and said, "Let's take care of Nugget while that other guy cleans her cage!!"